Good god this spoke to me today: I have been reeling from some negative feedback, and then in a doom spiral about my lack of resilience and how much it hurt me. Thank you!
This is my sister to a T!! When I read this message, it felt like she was trying to explain how it feels being so sensitive/ easily hurt by others. My sister has a gigantic heart and loves so much! Thank you for peeling back the layers.
Thank you Polly. This old girl is all twisted up inside - years of being too much. I felt things unfurl as I read you. Something I needed. Here’s to all of us who need to unfurl & care about ourselves the way we care about others. You have a way with words Polly - grateful you share.
Thank you for this offering Polly. Been sitting with the both/ands of my protective shapes and stories AND exquisite openness to life, my righteous anger AND bewildered soft core, my grieving need to belabor the “why” of recent heartbreak AND be with the reality that my feelings are just really fucking hurt. This spoke so gently and fiercely to all this, thank you!
This writing is pure brilliance - it brought tears to my eyes and spoke to me on such a deep level. My daughter (so much like me in this regard) needs to read this as well. Thank you for putting into words something that only existed in a fog for me.
Thanks for this. Maybe sensitivity is a super power but it is a very difficult one. One thing I can say, dont hide the hurt. Express it. It is real and e eryone should know it. Stop protecting others and protect yourself.
You had me at the Gatsby quote, some of the most gorgeous and true writing in the English language. It’s wild how this piece felt like it beamed straight into the oldest part of my soul: the part that’s always been “too much,” too sensitive, too romantic for my own good.
When I was younger, that sensitivity was embarrassing. It got me in trouble. I spent years trying to be the Tin Man, the Cool Girl, listening to Jann Arden on repeat: "Maybe you have some advice to give / on how to be insensitive.” But nothing about me was ever casual – my feelings have always been operatic.
Eventually I realized that in a culture that rewards detachment, that “extraordinary gift for hope” is actually a superpower. The truth was going to burst out of me no matter how hard I tried to mute it, and life blossomed once I stopped apologizing for that.
Your line: “You are built to be hurt because you care too much…it’s exquisitely beautiful, it’s sublime, it’s the source of your power and your desire and your passion”-- hit me right in the place that once wrote, at 19: all i want for Christmas is to feel less. Teach me how to be the Tin Man.
This text deserves genuine praise, because it illuminates—with rare clarity—one of the greatest misunderstandings of modern emotional life: the belief that sensitivity is a flaw. The author shows that hurt feelings are not evidence of weakness but signs of a mind that remains open to the world. The way the text exposes our tendency to build defensive stories—stories that distort reality and separate us from others—reveals a deep psychological truth. Most people do exactly what the author describes: they flee into narratives to avoid feeling their raw emotions, and in doing so they become lonelier, more anxious, and more disconnected. The writer names this mechanism honestly and precisely, which is why the piece feels emotionally intelligent and deeply necessary.
From our evolutionary-awareness perspective, the text becomes even stronger. Being easily hurt is not a personal failure; it is the natural outcome of a brain designed over millions of years to treat social cues as matters of survival. This sensitivity is the cost of having high perceptual resolution—an advanced signal-processing system, not a defect. Recognizing this dissolves shame. The pain is not a verdict on one’s worth; it is simply an ancient mechanism still doing its job. And that recognition is what truly seals the author’s insight.
Great to read your posts as always, Polly. There is a wonderful thing for Hurt Feelings to remember. A bold, rugged, deep sense of humor like way back in the day can make all the shit-show of being human can become a trifle: just listen to this from way back in the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45ZdKCFFR3I&list=RD45ZdKCFFR3I&start_radio=1
I just opened Substack for the first time in months - while in a state of feeling deeply hurt. I’m gobsmacked by this, absolutely beautiful. Thank you, thank you!
I have not visited Substack in a while because ‘I am a sensitive soul’ & the words of truth proclaimed by writers hurt my heart. I’m not ashamed of that. I take it in small doses.
This spoke to me on a personal level. The right words at the right time. Thank you.
Good god this spoke to me today: I have been reeling from some negative feedback, and then in a doom spiral about my lack of resilience and how much it hurt me. Thank you!
This is my sister to a T!! When I read this message, it felt like she was trying to explain how it feels being so sensitive/ easily hurt by others. My sister has a gigantic heart and loves so much! Thank you for peeling back the layers.
Thank you Polly. This old girl is all twisted up inside - years of being too much. I felt things unfurl as I read you. Something I needed. Here’s to all of us who need to unfurl & care about ourselves the way we care about others. You have a way with words Polly - grateful you share.
Thank you for this offering Polly. Been sitting with the both/ands of my protective shapes and stories AND exquisite openness to life, my righteous anger AND bewildered soft core, my grieving need to belabor the “why” of recent heartbreak AND be with the reality that my feelings are just really fucking hurt. This spoke so gently and fiercely to all this, thank you!
I needed this so much right now. Thank you for writing it.
My sensitivity literally made my body ache for the last 5 days. I will read and reread this until at least a smidgeon of acceptance seeps in.
This writing is pure brilliance - it brought tears to my eyes and spoke to me on such a deep level. My daughter (so much like me in this regard) needs to read this as well. Thank you for putting into words something that only existed in a fog for me.
Thanks for this. Maybe sensitivity is a super power but it is a very difficult one. One thing I can say, dont hide the hurt. Express it. It is real and e eryone should know it. Stop protecting others and protect yourself.
You had me at the Gatsby quote, some of the most gorgeous and true writing in the English language. It’s wild how this piece felt like it beamed straight into the oldest part of my soul: the part that’s always been “too much,” too sensitive, too romantic for my own good.
When I was younger, that sensitivity was embarrassing. It got me in trouble. I spent years trying to be the Tin Man, the Cool Girl, listening to Jann Arden on repeat: "Maybe you have some advice to give / on how to be insensitive.” But nothing about me was ever casual – my feelings have always been operatic.
Eventually I realized that in a culture that rewards detachment, that “extraordinary gift for hope” is actually a superpower. The truth was going to burst out of me no matter how hard I tried to mute it, and life blossomed once I stopped apologizing for that.
Your line: “You are built to be hurt because you care too much…it’s exquisitely beautiful, it’s sublime, it’s the source of your power and your desire and your passion”-- hit me right in the place that once wrote, at 19: all i want for Christmas is to feel less. Teach me how to be the Tin Man.
Turns out the Tin Man was never the point.
Thank you for the reminder today.
This text deserves genuine praise, because it illuminates—with rare clarity—one of the greatest misunderstandings of modern emotional life: the belief that sensitivity is a flaw. The author shows that hurt feelings are not evidence of weakness but signs of a mind that remains open to the world. The way the text exposes our tendency to build defensive stories—stories that distort reality and separate us from others—reveals a deep psychological truth. Most people do exactly what the author describes: they flee into narratives to avoid feeling their raw emotions, and in doing so they become lonelier, more anxious, and more disconnected. The writer names this mechanism honestly and precisely, which is why the piece feels emotionally intelligent and deeply necessary.
From our evolutionary-awareness perspective, the text becomes even stronger. Being easily hurt is not a personal failure; it is the natural outcome of a brain designed over millions of years to treat social cues as matters of survival. This sensitivity is the cost of having high perceptual resolution—an advanced signal-processing system, not a defect. Recognizing this dissolves shame. The pain is not a verdict on one’s worth; it is simply an ancient mechanism still doing its job. And that recognition is what truly seals the author’s insight.
I see you, AI
Great to read your posts as always, Polly. There is a wonderful thing for Hurt Feelings to remember. A bold, rugged, deep sense of humor like way back in the day can make all the shit-show of being human can become a trifle: just listen to this from way back in the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45ZdKCFFR3I&list=RD45ZdKCFFR3I&start_radio=1
I just opened Substack for the first time in months - while in a state of feeling deeply hurt. I’m gobsmacked by this, absolutely beautiful. Thank you, thank you!
I have not visited Substack in a while because ‘I am a sensitive soul’ & the words of truth proclaimed by writers hurt my heart. I’m not ashamed of that. I take it in small doses.
This spoke to me on a personal level. The right words at the right time. Thank you.
Felt like this was personally written for me. Thanks for writing, as always, Polly
Thank you for this, I’ve spent the last day and a half ruminating on an interaction with my boss that exactly resonates with this.
Also, the melancholy of the lost romantic reminds me of Joni Mitchell’s The Last Time I Saw Richard, just thought I’d share.
Thank you for this reminder. Truly.