'Friendships Are a Minefield!'

Taking the risk of cultivating curiosity about other people's experiences widens every horizon.

Man and Woman in Café (1903), Pablo Picasso

Dear Polly,

Sometimes I write to you to get through my own feelings. Today, a friend and I broke up. I told him, “We are no longer friends.” I feel awful. I hate friendship breakups because they cast doubt on all my existing relationships.

I read part of an ethnography called “The Mystic of Friendship.” It’s abou…