'Help, My Live-In Boyfriend Is Miserable and I'm Starting to Lose My Mind!'

You can't create your own adventure with a 150-pound man strapped onto your back.

Aux Environs de Paris (1962), Dorothea Tanning

Dear Polly,

I'm stuck. My brain is at a crossroads, and the stand-off currently taking place amidst my cerebellum is paralyzing. I'm dizzy with doubt and seasick from the compounding narratives currently doing a Dobby with the lamp from that scene in Harry Potter (not a timely reference, but it's how me and m…