Thanks for this. I'm one of those people who used to use 'forgiveness' as 'excuse for staying connected with abusers,' and have been in recovery from the trauma that caused for a couple decades now. It's about time to be reminded that the person I need to be forgiving is myself. And that forgiving someone else doesn't mean I have to keep them in my contacts.
I am in love with your literary excesses and grateful to read your words like a hiking trail for my being. My not articulate, confused and at times ashamed being. At least by proxy I share in your sexy, vivacious writer glow! It's what I've wanted to be. It's a great point to make that we'll allways be *trying*...as I thought open and joyful was a destination lol.
Everything, everywhere all at once I think also touches on this theme of forgiving your shame. It resonated for me as a mom who was raising her child to not be like her, whose greatest wish was for him to not be a failure... like me. I didn't even realize the amount of shame I carried. Good movie, cannot recommend more.
Also grateful for this community, as I look forward the comments. You attract the most interesting souls, Heather!
Heather is a wizard of making unique, colourful and bright scenarios. I could hear the necklace and the workings of the repairperson. I could feel a lightness in my entire being and the glaciers in my heart thawing. Such a lovely guide to people like me on recovery where everything feels scary and everything hurts and everyday is just learning how to be a person again. Thank you, Heather!
"...Your body is full of unpredictable emotions and insatiable desires. Keep all of it. You don’t have that long to live inside this impossible place, where everything does battle with everything else..."
That feels like the best kind of punch in the heart.
I've vacillated between beating myself up for totally crushing on someone who's come into my life through an unconventional avenue (and we've gotten physical on several occasions). I'm realizing said crush is one way, but sometimes that's how it goes and I'm not going anywhere in my marriage, and just trying to enjoy the feeling of falling for someone.
I have a pattern of doing this. I've had crushes on guy friends before (usually straight, like my at the time college bestie), and they eventually trail off. This new crush is the first I've had in a while. I'm trying to avoid running away from uncomfortable feelings and at least acknowledging them, sitting with them, and inviting them over for drinks. Point is, the last few months have been emotionally intense and recognizing that unpredictability of the human heart is not a flaw, but a necessary element. It scares the fuck out of me at times, but I'm still alive, and hungry for more.
Absolutely stunning piece, Heather. I can’t love it enough. It’s tough feeling like you’re the Holly Hunter character in Broadcast News all the time. And exhausting…not to mention alienating for those all around you. Despite the misunderstanding I think this trait reaps, it’s so valuable, especially in others. I gravitate to it, because it’s rare. It’s will. Having the insight and experience to see beyond its rough edges is a gift I wish more people had.
Oof, it me. I don’t know how to look in the mirror and say “I forgive you” to myself, but this makes me want to try. I always filet myself for others and end up flayed. Thank you as always, always.
Thanks for this. I'm one of those people who used to use 'forgiveness' as 'excuse for staying connected with abusers,' and have been in recovery from the trauma that caused for a couple decades now. It's about time to be reminded that the person I need to be forgiving is myself. And that forgiving someone else doesn't mean I have to keep them in my contacts.
This busted me wide open, thank you Polly for somehow always knowing what it is I need to hear & writing (excessively & elaborately) about it!
I am in love with your literary excesses and grateful to read your words like a hiking trail for my being. My not articulate, confused and at times ashamed being. At least by proxy I share in your sexy, vivacious writer glow! It's what I've wanted to be. It's a great point to make that we'll allways be *trying*...as I thought open and joyful was a destination lol.
Everything, everywhere all at once I think also touches on this theme of forgiving your shame. It resonated for me as a mom who was raising her child to not be like her, whose greatest wish was for him to not be a failure... like me. I didn't even realize the amount of shame I carried. Good movie, cannot recommend more.
Also grateful for this community, as I look forward the comments. You attract the most interesting souls, Heather!
Well now I'm crying
Heather is a wizard of making unique, colourful and bright scenarios. I could hear the necklace and the workings of the repairperson. I could feel a lightness in my entire being and the glaciers in my heart thawing. Such a lovely guide to people like me on recovery where everything feels scary and everything hurts and everyday is just learning how to be a person again. Thank you, Heather!
Thank you for this! I really appreciate your words. Hang in there and keep being gentle to yourself.
Heather, I don't always take the time to say this, but, thank you SO MUCH for your writing and for sharing it. Thank you, deeply.
Been feeling weird the last couple days and this helped so much <33
Amazing column and huge gratitude for your subscription help.
With all my heart - thank you 🙏
Beautiful, thank you!
"...Your body is full of unpredictable emotions and insatiable desires. Keep all of it. You don’t have that long to live inside this impossible place, where everything does battle with everything else..."
That feels like the best kind of punch in the heart.
I've vacillated between beating myself up for totally crushing on someone who's come into my life through an unconventional avenue (and we've gotten physical on several occasions). I'm realizing said crush is one way, but sometimes that's how it goes and I'm not going anywhere in my marriage, and just trying to enjoy the feeling of falling for someone.
I have a pattern of doing this. I've had crushes on guy friends before (usually straight, like my at the time college bestie), and they eventually trail off. This new crush is the first I've had in a while. I'm trying to avoid running away from uncomfortable feelings and at least acknowledging them, sitting with them, and inviting them over for drinks. Point is, the last few months have been emotionally intense and recognizing that unpredictability of the human heart is not a flaw, but a necessary element. It scares the fuck out of me at times, but I'm still alive, and hungry for more.
Absolutely stunning piece, Heather. I can’t love it enough. It’s tough feeling like you’re the Holly Hunter character in Broadcast News all the time. And exhausting…not to mention alienating for those all around you. Despite the misunderstanding I think this trait reaps, it’s so valuable, especially in others. I gravitate to it, because it’s rare. It’s will. Having the insight and experience to see beyond its rough edges is a gift I wish more people had.
Oof, it me. I don’t know how to look in the mirror and say “I forgive you” to myself, but this makes me want to try. I always filet myself for others and end up flayed. Thank you as always, always.
thank you for this one Heather
I didn’t know how much I needed this. Thank you.