'I Treat My Friends Like Enemies!'

Go easier on yourself and you'll be easier on your friends, too.

Bâteau bleu (The Grotto) (1950) by Dorothea Tanning

Dear Polly,

You write so beautifully about friendship in all its messiness and I’m hoping that you might have some wisdom to share with me. One of my fiercest desires in life is to have deep, connected friendships with other women, but self-sabotaging behavior is making this impossible.

Growing up, I was …