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KL's avatar
2dEdited

As someone who has similar interests, I just want to say that the past 15 years have been particularly rough on people who like comic books and music. We grew up in a world where niche content was rare and precious and boredom was a constant problem. Now we live in a world where infinite niche content is a click away and overstimulation is a constant problem. But while this whole transition was going on, the people who made indie comics and indie music were being constantly told to give it away for free--actually you should be grateful you're getting attention at all. And now our precious word "indie" doesn't mean anything at all. It has been a very fucked up century so far. So yeah, I'm not surprised you feel discouraged and burnt out, I do too. Figuring out how to put that same "indie" creative drive towards other ways of making and sharing is a constant effort for me. But somehow I'm still so grateful that I developed my sense of self before social media.

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Mapledurham's avatar

I remember reading a fantastic piece, written in the wake of Jan 6 2021, by Alison Green on her 'Ask A Manager' blog. It was a reminder to all that we are living through absolutely brutal, chaotic, and traumatizing times, and that we should remember that when we start judging ourselves or each other for not doing X, Y, and/or Z. (I can't find it although maybe it was this: https://www.askamanager.org/2021/04/my-staff-is-anxious-about-reopening-even-though-theyre-vaccinated.html). Reading it then, I felt an overwhelming rush of gratitude and comfort for the recognition that, good god, these are not ordinary times and we shouldn't expect ourselves or anyone to be hitting it out of the park. I sure wasn't, stranded and unemployed and failing to produce anything much beyond gourmet dinners for my family. And I'm still kind of in that state 4+ years later. Those times are back in even fuller force AND on a daily basis. We are living in a terrible storm, moving through the world against horrendous headwinds. Be kind to yourself, OP - you're doing the thing, even if it doesn't feel like it. In years to come, people will marvel that we lived through all this.

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Feli's avatar

There’s so much valuable advice in this answer but what sticks with me is the story about the video and the dead girl. It really puts everything into perspective. We are lucky to be alive. So sorry for your loss 😔

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KL's avatar

One thing that always helps me, and this is something that Polly touched on, is that even if you are jealous of other people have accomplished, there are still people who are jealous of what YOU have accomplished. I think that holds true for anyone who has ever accomplished anything, great or small. The goal posts are always moving. So it's ok to acknowledge that the small thing you did accomplish matters, and to recognize that other people might think they would be happier if they had accomplished that small thing too. And it's ok to remind yourself that people who have accomplished "more" also feel chronically unsatisfied. Being unsatisfied is a prequisite for creativity, I think, because creativity is all about desire for what doesn't yet exist.

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Irena V.'s avatar

Discontent is a bell for attention not a red flag that something is wrong

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Angelique's avatar

"Your dreams can't be murdered." H.H. -- such a relief to read this. Taping to the wall.

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Seth Werkheiser's avatar

I just printed and taped "You’re the one demon lover dragon sprite with the sheer force and joy and brilliance to do the exact work that you were built to do" on mine.

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Diane Feen's avatar

I can so relate to this person who feels she killed her dreams. When you are in pain, everything is distorted and difficult. And trying to survive in this world today requires a LOT of energy and perseverance. It is easy to tell someone to pick themselves up and do what needs to be done. But, when you are in pain and it is hard to move - and even harder to complete tasks necessary for survival, then it is complicated. I am not sure what you are saying fits the situation. I am sorry, I get what she is saying. This woman has so much going on and is dealing with lost relationships and bodily pain, what she needs is to rest and take care of herself. She needs to see her world in color and not black and white with cracks. I think your advice sounds wonderful in a perfect world with perfect health, but it is not easy to wash a floor when you are in pain. I get that loud and clear. She should hire someone to help her or ask friends to help her. Her dreams are worth saving, I agree with you, but accomplishing tasks when you are sick or have bodily pain is almost too much to ask. Maybe a little at a time. But often it is not mind over matter.

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KL's avatar

Yeah being sick and injured and recovering from surgery is soooo much work. And then you have to grieve that loss of time and energy.

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m...'s avatar

I agree. What Heather has written is really beautiful, but maybe overly positive. Sometimes things just suck, and there is nothing we can do.

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Andrea.at.Large's avatar

This is so beautiful—thank you!

I walked away from a performing arts career that I was deeply invested in for 20 years. It has taken a decade (and the intervening divorce, pandemic, career change, and therapy) to finally make peace with it. I later found other ways to be creative, and have found another medium to create in that aligns better with my needs and values, and it’s true—the urge to create doesn’t leave you, if you remain open to creativity and art looking different from what you first thought it had to be. Water those seeds—you might be pleasantly surprised what comes up!

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Melinda McGraw's avatar

Thank you DK and Polly , you are both gorgeous writers. In perfect timing exactly what I need today. And isn’t also true of our nation? Our world? If more of us owned our true natures, our true sovereignty , I believe we would have more harmony and love , and more seeds sprouting the dreams of Peace.

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Jim Berry's avatar

Dear Polly;

I want to grow up and write as well as you do.

Jim

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Roxane Heslop's avatar

Thanks so much for this, it hit home ❤️

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meredith kaye's avatar

Damnit, Polly. needed this one today. thank you

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Learning Vulcan's avatar

Beautiful reply and splendid advice. Thanks for writing this Polly!

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Deborah Campbell's avatar

Great advice Polly! So sorry about your knee - hobbling is no bueno. I’d love to help. You can find me in Substack at Walk Straight Serialized. (Pro link in bio)

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