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'My Life Is Ruined and Now I'm Trapped!'
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'My Life Is Ruined and Now I'm Trapped!'

Repeating the belief that you're stuck is a way of choosing a doomed fantasy over real life.

Heather Havrilesky
May 05, 2025
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'My Life Is Ruined and Now I'm Trapped!'
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The Girl (1950), Dorothea Tanning

Dear Polly,

As the title says: I feel like my life is ruined, and now I'm trapped. I wish I could go back in time two years and do it all differently. I'm hoping you'll have some words of advice for me on how to deal with this situation.

I used to live in a major city in Europe, which was very expensive. I had a job I like…

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