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No, Self-Help Won't Make You a Jerk!

Never listen to anyone who thinks that self-improvement is inherently selfish. Cultivating firm boundaries and celebrating your desires will make you more loving and generous, not less.

Heather Havrilesky
Aug 25, 2025
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The Celestial Prison (1963), Jane Graverol

“Is Today’s Self-Help Teaching Everyone To Be a Jerk?” asks this morning’s New York Times. As usual, the article itself is far less extreme than the headline. But people today have a special propensity for weaponizing headlines (and oversimplified takes) and wielding them against each other. So let’s acknowledge…

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