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'Now That Hell Is Over, Can I Build a New Life?'

Shortcuts to the future rarely work. Slow down and reckon with who you are instead.

Heather Havrilesky
May 14, 2025
∙ Paid
Tricheurs (1957), Dorothea Tanning

This column was first published in March of 2021. Today I received an update from the letter writer, so I’m running his original letter today and publishing the follow-up tomorrow in the hopes that we can share in the suspense: HOW DID EVERYTHING TURN OUT FOR THIS GUY?

Sometimes I worry that I’ll look back and realize I …

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