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Ask Polly

‘This Maladaptive Daydreamer Is Ready to Wake Up!’

Escapist fantasies hurt you by inadvertently perpetuating the myth that reality is darker and more terrifying than it actually is.

Heather Havrilesky
Oct 03, 2025
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Madamoiselle Mallarme (1936), Jane Graverol

Dear Polly,

Pretty much since I knew how to create stories I’ve been a daydreamer. Specifically, a romantic daydreamer. I would lull myself to sleep as a young child with a retelling of whatever princess story was my favorite at the time. Directing romantic fantasies was my escape in a world that was often confu…

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