'Am I Abusive?'

Don't begin a new life by telling someone else's old stories about who you are.

Hibiscus with Plumeria (1939) by Georgia O’Keeffe

Dear Polly,

I’ve made the decision to divorce my husband, so my question is not about that. It’s about the story we tell ourselves about why it’s ending, and how I see myself on my way out.

For five years, we’ve been trying so hard to get our relationship right, and it has just not worked. In the language o…