Wow. I really needed to hear this, too. Searching for comfort in dangerous places is a very "dead-end" for anyone who is attracted to obsessions (addictions). I think it's a slow process. But, it must begin or we sign up for our own end. And it is scary. Signing up for those classes (like I did and still do) is a way to be in a new, healthy, uncomfortable yet necessary environment that we need to find the RIGHT people and to feel how good feels again. Thank you, Polly (and hugs to the original author). Sending love <3
I identify so much with this! I used to have similar obsessions in my teens and 20s and they hurt so much I just gave up on romance all together and drank to self-medicate. I would not recommend that path! Now I’m in my mid-50s and joining online and in person groups and meditating and figuring out my triggers so I can hopefully have a fulfilling and peaceful last act of life. Take Polly’s advice and good luck to you! ❤️
Hey Heather, I read this a couple of times and will probably again - one of those letters that came just when it’s needed, it’s like a shot of strength to my heart…
But I’m curious - I feel like you used to write a lot more in this style earlier. By that I mean, questions where the problem seems pretty straightforward, and what made you stand out was that instead of stating of the obvious, you really went deep and offered this great mix of understanding, acceptance and very serious advice. I think a lot of what I consider truly offering empathy, in the sense that people feel accepted, not judged, in a way that enables them to solve their problems instead of avoiding them, comes from you. Like the big hug that gives you the strength to move countries…
More recently though, your answers feel different. More nuanced, more intellectual, but less of the warm embrace… this is not a criticism, just a difference that stood out today, and I’m curious - have your questioners changed, or do you see the world differently now?
Wow. I really needed to hear this, too. Searching for comfort in dangerous places is a very "dead-end" for anyone who is attracted to obsessions (addictions). I think it's a slow process. But, it must begin or we sign up for our own end. And it is scary. Signing up for those classes (like I did and still do) is a way to be in a new, healthy, uncomfortable yet necessary environment that we need to find the RIGHT people and to feel how good feels again. Thank you, Polly (and hugs to the original author). Sending love <3
“To feel how good feels again” 😭❤️🔥🫂
I identify so much with this! I used to have similar obsessions in my teens and 20s and they hurt so much I just gave up on romance all together and drank to self-medicate. I would not recommend that path! Now I’m in my mid-50s and joining online and in person groups and meditating and figuring out my triggers so I can hopefully have a fulfilling and peaceful last act of life. Take Polly’s advice and good luck to you! ❤️
Hey Heather, I read this a couple of times and will probably again - one of those letters that came just when it’s needed, it’s like a shot of strength to my heart…
But I’m curious - I feel like you used to write a lot more in this style earlier. By that I mean, questions where the problem seems pretty straightforward, and what made you stand out was that instead of stating of the obvious, you really went deep and offered this great mix of understanding, acceptance and very serious advice. I think a lot of what I consider truly offering empathy, in the sense that people feel accepted, not judged, in a way that enables them to solve their problems instead of avoiding them, comes from you. Like the big hug that gives you the strength to move countries…
More recently though, your answers feel different. More nuanced, more intellectual, but less of the warm embrace… this is not a criticism, just a difference that stood out today, and I’m curious - have your questioners changed, or do you see the world differently now?