I have mixed feelings about this approach, especially after talking to a close friend who was crying about her movie project not receiving sufficient funding, the project now being cancelled after three years of working on the script.
As much as I agree with the underlying idea of moving directionally, experimenting and letting things unfold, it's hard to set aside the knowledge that not all of us are equal when it comes to choosing a "direction" vs "a destination". As much as I agree with the overall idea on enjoying the process, it's hard for me to hear these messages from people bathing in privilege, with degrees, experiences and financial back-up, allowing them to try things out and mess up, knowing that they will always be employable in the corporate world. I understand that Megan's message is tailored for a particular audience, and not really about money or privilege, but I can't help seeing those parameters dancing in the background...I would so much like to read books, or hear coaches, on how to move directionally when you don't already have a socially/corporate approved track record to fall back on, even if people without the track record usually don't end up in coaching. Still, how do we live directionally in systems/structures who definitely financially reward and punish specific orientations?
I understand there are no clear-cut answers, because it will always be a negotiation between our deepest aspirations, capacities and external circumstances. Being myself in a situation where aiming for a destination brought me to well-paid, socially rewarded positions that stress the shit out of me and make me feel dead inside, I'm working hard on cultivating gratitude for the younger me who chose those financially secure paths and experiences solely for my resume, even if they were not the most aligned. At least they have provided a level of security that allows me to explore more now, which definitely would not have been possible fifteen years ago.
This is a very good point, thank you for bringing it up. Socioeconomic class is the "hidden curriculum" behind a lot of this advice. Ability and disability is another hidden curriculum. When I was parenting a child with a severe health impairment, hearing life advice about following your joy/purpose made me want to stab someone with a knife. And the choices I made for economic safety before and during that terrible time were crucial to our survival. Now that that part of my life is mostly resolved, I can see the value in this kind of advice, but I'm with you in the desire to honor my past self.
You make good points and now the trend is to look at things from a socioeconomic lens which definitely has its place.
I haven’t read her book so I’ll just hold that privilege adds to the guilt and that sensitive, depressed people love piling on reasons to hate themselves. I had a real tough time at a job once and was married so could leave without major repercussions - still had to rebuild. Most of us never experience total financial security but we all feel directionless at times.
@siobhanbrieraguilar had an interesting take on this angle when she reviewed Tendler’s They called her Crazy and it was poignant since it touched on feminism in a memoir.
I think a lot of us are frozen in place because of the current "sky is falling" mindset about the job market (at least here in the Bay Area). Thank you for the words and it helps nudge me a little (I'm scared 😄)...
The part about people who want to do nothing but then once that’s out of their system they have ambition again is something i feel like i discovered in high school and called “boredom nirvana” like if you surrender long enough the direction will inhabit you. Reading it here made me say “exactlyyyyyy”.
However, i think it’s so so hard to actually do unless you have enough savings to take that year sabbatical, (i don’t).
I have mixed feelings about this approach, especially after talking to a close friend who was crying about her movie project not receiving sufficient funding, the project now being cancelled after three years of working on the script.
As much as I agree with the underlying idea of moving directionally, experimenting and letting things unfold, it's hard to set aside the knowledge that not all of us are equal when it comes to choosing a "direction" vs "a destination". As much as I agree with the overall idea on enjoying the process, it's hard for me to hear these messages from people bathing in privilege, with degrees, experiences and financial back-up, allowing them to try things out and mess up, knowing that they will always be employable in the corporate world. I understand that Megan's message is tailored for a particular audience, and not really about money or privilege, but I can't help seeing those parameters dancing in the background...I would so much like to read books, or hear coaches, on how to move directionally when you don't already have a socially/corporate approved track record to fall back on, even if people without the track record usually don't end up in coaching. Still, how do we live directionally in systems/structures who definitely financially reward and punish specific orientations?
I understand there are no clear-cut answers, because it will always be a negotiation between our deepest aspirations, capacities and external circumstances. Being myself in a situation where aiming for a destination brought me to well-paid, socially rewarded positions that stress the shit out of me and make me feel dead inside, I'm working hard on cultivating gratitude for the younger me who chose those financially secure paths and experiences solely for my resume, even if they were not the most aligned. At least they have provided a level of security that allows me to explore more now, which definitely would not have been possible fifteen years ago.
This is a very good point, thank you for bringing it up. Socioeconomic class is the "hidden curriculum" behind a lot of this advice. Ability and disability is another hidden curriculum. When I was parenting a child with a severe health impairment, hearing life advice about following your joy/purpose made me want to stab someone with a knife. And the choices I made for economic safety before and during that terrible time were crucial to our survival. Now that that part of my life is mostly resolved, I can see the value in this kind of advice, but I'm with you in the desire to honor my past self.
You make good points and now the trend is to look at things from a socioeconomic lens which definitely has its place.
I haven’t read her book so I’ll just hold that privilege adds to the guilt and that sensitive, depressed people love piling on reasons to hate themselves. I had a real tough time at a job once and was married so could leave without major repercussions - still had to rebuild. Most of us never experience total financial security but we all feel directionless at times.
@siobhanbrieraguilar had an interesting take on this angle when she reviewed Tendler’s They called her Crazy and it was poignant since it touched on feminism in a memoir.
I think a lot of us are frozen in place because of the current "sky is falling" mindset about the job market (at least here in the Bay Area). Thank you for the words and it helps nudge me a little (I'm scared 😄)...
The part about people who want to do nothing but then once that’s out of their system they have ambition again is something i feel like i discovered in high school and called “boredom nirvana” like if you surrender long enough the direction will inhabit you. Reading it here made me say “exactlyyyyyy”.
However, i think it’s so so hard to actually do unless you have enough savings to take that year sabbatical, (i don’t).
Yes that hit for me as well!! Boredom Nirvana is a great phrase, I'm going to start using it :}
I’m interested in the book, there are probably nuances covered there that aren’t in the interview. On the to read list.
I look forward to reading the interview, but the headline reminds me of Ann Marie Le Cunff's "Tiny Experiments."