“Remember that sadness is just the experience of facing the disappointments and limits of a normal life. Depression is an extended fight against sadness that leaves you numb and anxious and afraid.”
Tons of people are depressed these days not only because shit is fucked up, but because our entire culture is a maze of addictions that interrupt our sadness. We're slowly trained to welcome interruptions instead of facing how we feel, but the more INTERRUPTED we become the sicker and more depressed we get.
We escape and blame ourselves for escaping. The culture itself rarely acknowledges how hard it is to resist the addictive lure of escapism, fantasy, and imagination; instead we're constantly introduced to new ways to escape. Each escape alienates us from the grounding joys of living in the sensual, real, emotional world. We become increasingly neurotic and define the world inside our heads instead of inside our bodies and hearts and souls. We retreat into the dark instead of connecting with each other until we start to feel awkward and shitty when we try to connect at all.
The cure is simple so now it's treated as a boring cliché: Do ordinary things in real time with ordinary people. Brave disappointment. Work hard and feel tired. Notice small things. Offer your help. Go outside. Do your best. Forgive yourself for being flawed and afraid and wanting more than you have. Stay where you are and feel everything. Quiet your mind and listen to your heart. Feel this sadness and it will pass and bring joy in its place. Strange but true!
In my experience, the best way to figure out how to live joyfully where you live is to find the nature. The scrap of forest that escaped being cut down, or the arroyo left in the corner of the housing development. A hike in the desert at dusk, or in the woods on a rainy day. The little wetlands nature preserve with a wooden walkway. Any body of water or river or creek. Any empty field with birds. If you get to know the nature in a place, you will be supported by that nature, even when the people part is harder. And being in that natural ecosystem gives us room to think and feel without rushing our thoughts or feelings.
The LW says, "Right now I feel like falling in love is the only thing that matters and I’m wasting my time if I’m not putting myself under better circumstances to find it."
I agree, except I don't think a man is the proper target of our falling in love. We should put ourselves under better circumstances to fall in love with little creatures and trees and wind and light at different times of day. Through that, we can fall in love with our physical bodies and the small moments of time we exist in.
Love of a specific, place-based nature is the best foundation for all the other parts of life. It's a gateway to God/divinity/the Universe/our inner source of life. I know I sound like a massive hippie and I'm not sorry about it!!! And also finding nature is something that can be easier to do when you're away from the city. :-)
Yesterday I felt BAD. Took the dogs outside, blah, saw some big weeds, started pulling them.. Felt a tiny bit better, so put on my boots and returned and weeded for two hours. it completely rearranged my brain and saved my day.
I need to remember that the heat doesn't matter that much once I'm out there. Heat can be satisfying for short stretches. All of the ideas I have about what will be a drag or a hassle are generated by a bored indoor brain. Outside in the elements, the math is reversed and hassles become delights. Why is it always a surprise?!!!
“Remember that sadness is just the experience of facing the disappointments and limits of a normal life. Depression is an extended fight against sadness that leaves you numb and anxious and afraid.”
This helped me a lot today.
So glad to hear this!
Tons of people are depressed these days not only because shit is fucked up, but because our entire culture is a maze of addictions that interrupt our sadness. We're slowly trained to welcome interruptions instead of facing how we feel, but the more INTERRUPTED we become the sicker and more depressed we get.
We escape and blame ourselves for escaping. The culture itself rarely acknowledges how hard it is to resist the addictive lure of escapism, fantasy, and imagination; instead we're constantly introduced to new ways to escape. Each escape alienates us from the grounding joys of living in the sensual, real, emotional world. We become increasingly neurotic and define the world inside our heads instead of inside our bodies and hearts and souls. We retreat into the dark instead of connecting with each other until we start to feel awkward and shitty when we try to connect at all.
The cure is simple so now it's treated as a boring cliché: Do ordinary things in real time with ordinary people. Brave disappointment. Work hard and feel tired. Notice small things. Offer your help. Go outside. Do your best. Forgive yourself for being flawed and afraid and wanting more than you have. Stay where you are and feel everything. Quiet your mind and listen to your heart. Feel this sadness and it will pass and bring joy in its place. Strange but true!
In my experience, the best way to figure out how to live joyfully where you live is to find the nature. The scrap of forest that escaped being cut down, or the arroyo left in the corner of the housing development. A hike in the desert at dusk, or in the woods on a rainy day. The little wetlands nature preserve with a wooden walkway. Any body of water or river or creek. Any empty field with birds. If you get to know the nature in a place, you will be supported by that nature, even when the people part is harder. And being in that natural ecosystem gives us room to think and feel without rushing our thoughts or feelings.
The LW says, "Right now I feel like falling in love is the only thing that matters and I’m wasting my time if I’m not putting myself under better circumstances to find it."
I agree, except I don't think a man is the proper target of our falling in love. We should put ourselves under better circumstances to fall in love with little creatures and trees and wind and light at different times of day. Through that, we can fall in love with our physical bodies and the small moments of time we exist in.
Love of a specific, place-based nature is the best foundation for all the other parts of life. It's a gateway to God/divinity/the Universe/our inner source of life. I know I sound like a massive hippie and I'm not sorry about it!!! And also finding nature is something that can be easier to do when you're away from the city. :-)
This is so true and beautifully described.
Yesterday I felt BAD. Took the dogs outside, blah, saw some big weeds, started pulling them.. Felt a tiny bit better, so put on my boots and returned and weeded for two hours. it completely rearranged my brain and saved my day.
I need to remember that the heat doesn't matter that much once I'm out there. Heat can be satisfying for short stretches. All of the ideas I have about what will be a drag or a hassle are generated by a bored indoor brain. Outside in the elements, the math is reversed and hassles become delights. Why is it always a surprise?!!!