Ask Polly

Ask Polly

'My Hurt Feelings *Panic* Me!'

It's your punishing, neurotic thoughts, not your feelings, that send you into fight or flight mode. Daring to greet your feelings with enthusiasm will (slowly!) transform your life.

Heather Havrilesky
Dec 09, 2025
∙ Paid
Le repos du guerrier (1967), Jane Graverol

Dear Polly,

When I was little, my mother liked to tell me, “if you don’t want to get your feelings hurt, don’t stick them out so far.” No additional hints on what that might look like or how to begin going about it.

I’m afraid I feel much the same about your advice to “admit that everything hurts your feelings.” F…

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