Reading this reminds me that I have had a deficit of Havrilesky for some time. Good to get refreshed.
At times (OK, at a lot of times) our approach to our experience of our emotional lives echoes the Laputan characters in Gulliver's Travels.
At this point I am intent on abandoning all theories relating to authenticity, wholeness, self-actualization, etc., in favor of what I have come to call The Popeye School of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Upon encountering a distressing thought or feeling, I simply take hold of the thought or feeling and, flexing my biceps, announce loudly: "Oh Yeah? SEZ WHO?"
This immediately deflates and dissipates the power of the distressing thought or feeling. Shouting at my thoughts also helps to cause all within hearing range to quake and to flee, but, feeling much relieved, I am hard pressed to be concerned.
I love this! It sounds like a perfect embodiment of the breakthrough I had about a year ago, when I realized it's basically my job to be "on my side" at all times. No more beating up of self. It's not a virtue to be mean to myself, and it's not allowed. It's been a transformative shift. Now I have a shiny new tool in my toolkit: "Oh yeah? SEZ WHO?"
Ugh, yes. No words, just a song I like to listen to and sing with when the bears are either threatening to or actively starting to shred apart the monkeys:
"When will you learn to love your cosmic mess?" Now! But encourage the teaching part of the learner to lighten up on the mess. I love both the letter writer's work and the letter answerer's generosity.
This is the first time I’ve come across your Substack and I’m struck by how beautifully written and evocative this is. The change in voice is powerful and the revelations so intimate! I know I will be thinking about this for days to come. Thank you!
Sometimes I read the letters and feel like the LW’s situation doesn’t seem like one I particularly relate to, but the replies are often so real and applicable to my own situations. I feel very seen reading this piece today 👀
Reading this reminds me that I have had a deficit of Havrilesky for some time. Good to get refreshed.
At times (OK, at a lot of times) our approach to our experience of our emotional lives echoes the Laputan characters in Gulliver's Travels.
At this point I am intent on abandoning all theories relating to authenticity, wholeness, self-actualization, etc., in favor of what I have come to call The Popeye School of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Upon encountering a distressing thought or feeling, I simply take hold of the thought or feeling and, flexing my biceps, announce loudly: "Oh Yeah? SEZ WHO?"
This immediately deflates and dissipates the power of the distressing thought or feeling. Shouting at my thoughts also helps to cause all within hearing range to quake and to flee, but, feeling much relieved, I am hard pressed to be concerned.
I love this! It sounds like a perfect embodiment of the breakthrough I had about a year ago, when I realized it's basically my job to be "on my side" at all times. No more beating up of self. It's not a virtue to be mean to myself, and it's not allowed. It's been a transformative shift. Now I have a shiny new tool in my toolkit: "Oh yeah? SEZ WHO?"
Oh so funny!
Thank you!
I can’t explain how much I needed this today. There’s so much to drink in here. Grateful you shared.
I restacked the first part that connected with me, only to realise I could restack every paragraph of this post; it is so beautiful! Thank you🙌✨
I restacked like 5 quotes myself!
Ugh, yes. No words, just a song I like to listen to and sing with when the bears are either threatening to or actively starting to shred apart the monkeys:
https://youtu.be/i3AtRBlRQ-I?si=6CRZ5Ii6SKFTY4ix
Such a beautiful song, thank you for sharing 🤍
"I need to remember who I am and what I love and why."
I REMEMBER THIS. I had written it down in my planner in what must have been 2021. Wow wow wow.
This is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read. Thank you x
"When will you learn to love your cosmic mess?" Now! But encourage the teaching part of the learner to lighten up on the mess. I love both the letter writer's work and the letter answerer's generosity.
Equal parts Brilliant and healing- as always, thank you 🤍
I laughed out loud at "anxious baby on board"
Thank you for validations of the mess.
I really needed this today. Thank you. <3
I am going to print this brilliant writing, and hang it above my bed.
I am going to read this every day for a year, and then I will evaluate if reading this piece once a day the following year is enough or not
This is the first time I’ve come across your Substack and I’m struck by how beautifully written and evocative this is. The change in voice is powerful and the revelations so intimate! I know I will be thinking about this for days to come. Thank you!
Sometimes I read the letters and feel like the LW’s situation doesn’t seem like one I particularly relate to, but the replies are often so real and applicable to my own situations. I feel very seen reading this piece today 👀
I really need a drink
No you don't ;-) if you take one, cheers!
this was validating in ways i can’t even begin to express. thank you for writing this.
the most cathartic sobs while reading.. thank you oh so very much 💛
Same 😮💨