These words are beyond perfect….its all such a struggle. I always say I liked life better before the internet. My 20- something kids look at me like I’m from another galaxy when I say this. I mean it to the depths of my soul.
I hear this. I've been writing for online publications since 1996 -- and also print, of course, but my career started online. In the early days it was very very different, as you know, and the experience of putting yourself into the world was less self-conscious. I think there's this acceleration happening now where everything intense and overwhelming is multiplying exponentially and it's on our phones, on our bodies, always within sight. I wouldn't have said this was a problem at all in 2017 or even a terrible thing in 2021. AI has sped things up and made every dimension of digital life feel more fake, more invasive, less human. I think we have to be aware of that shift and talk about it before we surrender ourselves to a way of life that is so completely AGAINST our flawed vulnerability as humans yet looms so seamlessly outside of our notice that it escapes words and consciousness but fucks with us at a level we can feel but not articulate. Suffice it to say: I AM WITH YOU.
I go out without my phone a lot these days. Whole Saturdays where it just sits at home on the charger. I do have my apple watch so I can get messages or use maps, if I need it. Thinking about leaving it at home more, and instead of a phone, carrying a small digital camera in my front jean pocket to take pictures. That's all I need.
If I do have my phone with me, I will not want to but still read it while I walk around the city. I will look at it while walking the dog. I have this sense of let me get through these emails now, so I can do other stuff later. It's hard to resist. I've trained myself to be as productive as possible, now time to reconsider the value of that.
Well said. I like the part about dishonoring that which dehumanizes us. Not every person and the things they create are for us. Honor your humanity and call that which is worthless and that which is a waste of your time what it is: BS
Are liberation depends on us staying the course and not becoming distracted by nonsense
Exactly. Just as conflict and awkwardness can be natural and useful and therefore shouldn't always be avoided to keep things smooth and easy, rejecting things that don't work for you and drawing boundaries and noticing your limits are ways of feeding and honoring and respecting what you need to feel radiant and happy.
I love it when people call AI "tools" as in "These tools can be very useful." These tools can also be *completely fucking tools.* It depends on what you're doing, what you want, and how you want to live.
Feels a bit idyllic, like even before acquiring a cellphone I was the sort of person prone to waking up and castigating/judging myself for what I assumed were the opinions of hundreds of people. Maybe not everybody is that type but I'm sure some are.
I do put down the phone, often, and it fixes a very particular flavor of neuroticism, but doesn't fix close to everything, or make one feel like a blessed/good human.
I hear you! This is post is just one view of one problem. Like any response to a specific letter, it doesn't pretend to solve every problem under the sun.
I've loved my phone for years. Noticing how it amplifies my neuroticism and thinking about how that amplified neuroticism causes me to neglect my values and live out of alignment with my principles, my heart, and my purpose on the planet feels important.
I absolutely understand taking issue with the idyllic vibe. There are days when I welcome that flavor from others and other days when I reject it and even dislike it strongly. I think for me, it's important to take the risk of getting dramatic and putting my whole heart into what I write even when I know it will alienate some. As with anything, you're always free to take what works and leave what doesn't. I'm not trying to write something every day that appeals to every human alive. What I aim to do, more than anything else, is honor my own heart in a way that shines through and connects with SOMEONE. It doesn't have to be a lot of people. One person is enough for me.
I hope none of this feels defensive to you, because that's not how I feel about it at all! I just want to say that I absolutely get it and I hear you and here's the logic and also the emotion behind what I'm offering. xoxox
Here's why I read your words: when I get stuck writing my words, I read something you've written and suddenly it all becomes clear. It's such a weird magic trick. It doesn't matter what I happen to be writing about or what the topic of your essay is--- your words are always relevant.
After seeing that one tik tok of a guy getting backlash for saying "stop talking to AI" from thousands of people i felt i needed a permanent social media detox
These words are beyond perfect….its all such a struggle. I always say I liked life better before the internet. My 20- something kids look at me like I’m from another galaxy when I say this. I mean it to the depths of my soul.
I hear this. I've been writing for online publications since 1996 -- and also print, of course, but my career started online. In the early days it was very very different, as you know, and the experience of putting yourself into the world was less self-conscious. I think there's this acceleration happening now where everything intense and overwhelming is multiplying exponentially and it's on our phones, on our bodies, always within sight. I wouldn't have said this was a problem at all in 2017 or even a terrible thing in 2021. AI has sped things up and made every dimension of digital life feel more fake, more invasive, less human. I think we have to be aware of that shift and talk about it before we surrender ourselves to a way of life that is so completely AGAINST our flawed vulnerability as humans yet looms so seamlessly outside of our notice that it escapes words and consciousness but fucks with us at a level we can feel but not articulate. Suffice it to say: I AM WITH YOU.
I go out without my phone a lot these days. Whole Saturdays where it just sits at home on the charger. I do have my apple watch so I can get messages or use maps, if I need it. Thinking about leaving it at home more, and instead of a phone, carrying a small digital camera in my front jean pocket to take pictures. That's all I need.
If I do have my phone with me, I will not want to but still read it while I walk around the city. I will look at it while walking the dog. I have this sense of let me get through these emails now, so I can do other stuff later. It's hard to resist. I've trained myself to be as productive as possible, now time to reconsider the value of that.
Well said. I like the part about dishonoring that which dehumanizes us. Not every person and the things they create are for us. Honor your humanity and call that which is worthless and that which is a waste of your time what it is: BS
Are liberation depends on us staying the course and not becoming distracted by nonsense
Exactly. Just as conflict and awkwardness can be natural and useful and therefore shouldn't always be avoided to keep things smooth and easy, rejecting things that don't work for you and drawing boundaries and noticing your limits are ways of feeding and honoring and respecting what you need to feel radiant and happy.
I love it when people call AI "tools" as in "These tools can be very useful." These tools can also be *completely fucking tools.* It depends on what you're doing, what you want, and how you want to live.
Feels a bit idyllic, like even before acquiring a cellphone I was the sort of person prone to waking up and castigating/judging myself for what I assumed were the opinions of hundreds of people. Maybe not everybody is that type but I'm sure some are.
I do put down the phone, often, and it fixes a very particular flavor of neuroticism, but doesn't fix close to everything, or make one feel like a blessed/good human.
I hear you! This is post is just one view of one problem. Like any response to a specific letter, it doesn't pretend to solve every problem under the sun.
I've loved my phone for years. Noticing how it amplifies my neuroticism and thinking about how that amplified neuroticism causes me to neglect my values and live out of alignment with my principles, my heart, and my purpose on the planet feels important.
I absolutely understand taking issue with the idyllic vibe. There are days when I welcome that flavor from others and other days when I reject it and even dislike it strongly. I think for me, it's important to take the risk of getting dramatic and putting my whole heart into what I write even when I know it will alienate some. As with anything, you're always free to take what works and leave what doesn't. I'm not trying to write something every day that appeals to every human alive. What I aim to do, more than anything else, is honor my own heart in a way that shines through and connects with SOMEONE. It doesn't have to be a lot of people. One person is enough for me.
I hope none of this feels defensive to you, because that's not how I feel about it at all! I just want to say that I absolutely get it and I hear you and here's the logic and also the emotion behind what I'm offering. xoxox
Thank you. Some days putting the phone down is life-changing (maybe even life-altering, for some people) and it’s worth honoring that too.
Perfect alignment!
A scripture. Cascading beatitudes. Gospel if gospel means good news. Thank you for reminders I can turn to every day.
Here's why I read your words: when I get stuck writing my words, I read something you've written and suddenly it all becomes clear. It's such a weird magic trick. It doesn't matter what I happen to be writing about or what the topic of your essay is--- your words are always relevant.
"these tiny windows onto the suffering of perfect control" - perfect.
Thank you, Heather. I really needed to hear these words today. Am putting my phone away and going for a walk…x
After seeing that one tik tok of a guy getting backlash for saying "stop talking to AI" from thousands of people i felt i needed a permanent social media detox
Thank you. A million times.
Love your definition of confidence. Acceptance of the loss control not perfect control.
Thank you so much for the i information I'm 5 years isn't interested in this time all Ai navigate programs. Okay thanks Mr Dera.
I really feel this! Thank you so much for articulating it so well! I think I’ll be referring back to this one!
Beautiful thank you Polly! (Heather)
Excellent work thank you.