Learning not to flail and fight and flee in the face of big questions opens your heart, mind, and body to a more deeply connected, satisfying existence.
"Simply acknowledging the fragile feelings that come with big unknowns is enough."
I journal exactly for this purpose, and I find that I get the most out of it when I am naming and honoring and recognizing my feelings, but not trying to fix them - when I allow myself to say, "This feeling is here and it is okay."
Loved this post - so clarifying for me. I have been puzzled by my nostalgia for the first several months - the first year - after my husband of many years and I separated. I remember a lot of crying, at first, and a lot of being sure that I was the villain. I had no clear vision of my future, and a fair bit of anxiety about that. But this post is helping me see why I kinda miss that difficult time. It *was* a fertile time, and circumstances had me in a holding pattern so I couldn’t rush to a place of greater safety.
THIS. "You want to form a hypothesis, prove it immediately, and move on, usually by shutting down your heart and your body in an attempt to stay safe from unknowns." I spent my life, until recently, completely unaware that I was doing this constantly. About everything. And THIS.
"Everything you care about so badly it hurts will be improved by admitting to yourself how much you care — regularly, repeatedly — while also acknowledging that you can’t control every outcome." That's the key. It feels so good to finally be able to "just say no" to that thankless, pointless "job" that was preventing me from actually living.
Boy.....I have gravitated to being a fixer for so much of my life. But, when I surrender and feel, situations usually get better and work out okay. Maybe not the way I thought they would. And sometimes much better than I envisioned.
This will be a good journaling prompt and or a meditation possibility:
"Everything you care about so badly it hurts will be improved by admitting to yourself how much you care — regularly, repeatedly — while also acknowledging that you can’t control every outcome. Your ability to surrender to your love and passion and sadness and uncertainty is so much better than control."
This post is the perfect wake up call as we enter into the spring season. Love when you said, "Your ability to surrender to your love and passion and sadness and uncertainty is so much better than control. Because the more you feel and the less you tell rigid stories around that feeling, the more connected and grounded you’ll feel. Surrender intensifies love and passion and joy. Surrender builds self-trust and patience." I have been feeling this lately as I reflect on people and situations in which I tried to have control of every emotion I was experiencing instead of just... Experiencing what was happening and taking in the beauty and magic of it all. In hindsight, even in low moments, there was beauty and magic to be discovered and cherished. Thx for sharing yourself with us yet again. Happy spring! <3
Raise your trembling hand if you feel seen right now.
Well, now I'm crying
"Simply acknowledging the fragile feelings that come with big unknowns is enough."
I journal exactly for this purpose, and I find that I get the most out of it when I am naming and honoring and recognizing my feelings, but not trying to fix them - when I allow myself to say, "This feeling is here and it is okay."
Loved this post - so clarifying for me. I have been puzzled by my nostalgia for the first several months - the first year - after my husband of many years and I separated. I remember a lot of crying, at first, and a lot of being sure that I was the villain. I had no clear vision of my future, and a fair bit of anxiety about that. But this post is helping me see why I kinda miss that difficult time. It *was* a fertile time, and circumstances had me in a holding pattern so I couldn’t rush to a place of greater safety.
THIS. "You want to form a hypothesis, prove it immediately, and move on, usually by shutting down your heart and your body in an attempt to stay safe from unknowns." I spent my life, until recently, completely unaware that I was doing this constantly. About everything. And THIS.
"Everything you care about so badly it hurts will be improved by admitting to yourself how much you care — regularly, repeatedly — while also acknowledging that you can’t control every outcome." That's the key. It feels so good to finally be able to "just say no" to that thankless, pointless "job" that was preventing me from actually living.
I didn’t realize we had met. I know you’re talking to me in today’s post. Thank you.
I absolutely LOVE this reflection.
Boy.....I have gravitated to being a fixer for so much of my life. But, when I surrender and feel, situations usually get better and work out okay. Maybe not the way I thought they would. And sometimes much better than I envisioned.
This will be a good journaling prompt and or a meditation possibility:
"Everything you care about so badly it hurts will be improved by admitting to yourself how much you care — regularly, repeatedly — while also acknowledging that you can’t control every outcome. Your ability to surrender to your love and passion and sadness and uncertainty is so much better than control."
This post is the perfect wake up call as we enter into the spring season. Love when you said, "Your ability to surrender to your love and passion and sadness and uncertainty is so much better than control. Because the more you feel and the less you tell rigid stories around that feeling, the more connected and grounded you’ll feel. Surrender intensifies love and passion and joy. Surrender builds self-trust and patience." I have been feeling this lately as I reflect on people and situations in which I tried to have control of every emotion I was experiencing instead of just... Experiencing what was happening and taking in the beauty and magic of it all. In hindsight, even in low moments, there was beauty and magic to be discovered and cherished. Thx for sharing yourself with us yet again. Happy spring! <3
This essay saved me.
"You are full of sweetness and brilliance and light. Don’t roll your eyes, motherfucker. Dare to believe it."
THIS. Love it!!
Thank you- I’m a recovering control freak and I need all the help I can get!
Wow. Oof. Thank you.
♥️♥️♥️
Thanks for this
this feels so so so so right