24 Comments
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Samantha's avatar

Hi, Horribly Typical grandma here about to fulfill a dream of moving to be near my gradchildren and all 3 (yes! In the same town!) of my children but somehow I forgot how much moving sucks. Also I didnt/dont love my city of 30 yrs anymore but found myself sobbing with grief to leave it at 2am today. My sweet house! My cute yard! Oh no, what have I done!?! I SCHEDULED A BON VOYAGE PARTY!? Why would I ever do that!?! Aaaarrrrggghhhh

Thanks Teresa, me too.

Marija Nikolic's avatar

Moving is such a strange grief. You can want the future deeply and still mourn the soil you’ve grown roots in. Both can be true. The 2am sobbing doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice — it just means you loved where you were.🤍

Heather Havrilesky's avatar

This is so true. I've been mourning my time in LA lately because it feels so far in the past now. I know I'm in the right place but I have such strong feelings for that era. It's so surreal and difficult to move! I feel like this is my home and I belong here, but that was where I belonged for two decades. It's not either/ or, though. I can love LA and my past there just as much as I ever did without living there.

Samantha's avatar

Places, people, pets, many aspects of life are of a season for sure. Its still all so devastating and then -dammit!- like Teresa said, so numbingly trite.

Samantha's avatar

I am terrified but yes, there is always something to be terrified at 2am about, bravery isnt avoiding fear it is doing the scary thing anyway, at least that's the cliche, right?!

Lori Wald's avatar

Horribly typical grandma, I rename you Beautifully Brave Grandma. I’m struggling with the move to follow grandchildren. To willingly jump into the unknown from a perfectly comfortable and stable place is terrifying! Good luck with your move. I so admire your bravery.

Betsy's avatar

"One of the worst things about the internet is that it teaches us to see every aspect of the human condition as stereotypical. Our most fundamental battles and tribulations as humans were once honored in great literature; now we’re exposed to millions of snide jesters who turn shared rites of passage into disposable punchlines."

Oh gosh. As someone who's spent a lot of time self-deprecatingly saying things like "local woman discovers [people are complicated, endless laundry, grief, etc], news at eleven"... what a wonderful way to put it.

EAD's avatar

"Our most fundamental battles and tribulations as humans were once honored in great literature; now we’re exposed to millions of snide jesters who turn shared rites of passage into disposable punchlines."

I love this particular sentence so much. I'm reading Anna Karenina for the first time, and the thing that keeps striking me about it is that the story and themes make the book feel like it could have been written yesterday. The book is a nice reminder that none of us are alone, and that our feelings and experiences are worthy of being taken very seriously (to the tune of being sprawled out over nearly 1,000 pages)!

mp's avatar

Came here to say AK does this to me too!!!!

12109's avatar

I appreciate everyone's vibing over A.K. whilst avoiding any spoilers. It's one of those books I'm excited to still have ahead of me. Maybe this is the year!

EAD's avatar

You should totally read it!! I think it's a book you can appreciate more as you grow and have lots of life experiences. I don't think I would have loved it as much if I'd read it when I was younger, frankly.

Betsy's avatar

I had the same feeling when I read Anna Karenina. Humans don't change... Isn't it crazy that you can relate to a book written in such a different time and place??

EAD's avatar

Yes!! The nuance with which he talks about people's emotions, and how they can shift and change both over long periods time and even just within minutes or hours, is so incredible. We really don't change.

Joanna Hannah's avatar

Thank you Polly - feels like I just talked to a good friend. ❤️

Zanele's avatar

This column just gets better and better. What an amazing community you have cultivated, Heather. I wish we could meet up irl

Linds's avatar

WELP this made me cry at my desk and resubscribe myself. Thank you Polly and thank you Teresa!

Heather Havrilesky's avatar

Thank you, Linds!!!

lunasol's avatar
1dEdited

Loved reading about the badassery of Teresa the tax preparer! Way to overcome. Thanks for sharing this funny story. Also great idea for a scam lol

Cathy de la Cruz's avatar

W O W

Thomas Lis's avatar

Thanks Polly for this important reminder: at some point or another, we’re all walking clichés. And it’s exactly those supposedly embarrassing experiences that connect us.

m...'s avatar

This is so true. I sometime feel like it's so idiotic when I'm my own worst enemy. Like it's something so basic I should have conquered already. But it's a tale as old as time, and something humans since day one have struggled with (see Icarus haha)

Deborah Demander's avatar

I love everything about this article.

Thank you.

And many thanks and congratulations to Theresa too.

The Girl Who Got Away's avatar

Omigod this is beautiful

Like so beautiful

I’m a hardcore advocate for divorce and I’m so glad it set you free

Here’s to many more beers with friends who get it 🍻