This was one of the first Polly columns I read, if not the first, because I typed into the search engine something like "35 wasted life start over," that was a couple years ago, it spurred me on to reading all the Ask Polly columns I could find, and I'm glad that a couple years later I'm feeling much better.
Very similar story for me, too. I keep a PDF of this one, and a few others from both the Substack and The Cut eras, on my hard drive to reference whenever those feelings creep up. Glad I'm not the only person who came into Ask Polly-dom through this one.
I find this reply so sweet and this line gold "You can run your hands along your own self-defeating edges until you get a splinter, and you can pull the splinter out and stare at it and consider it. When you face your shame with an open heart, you’re on a path to art, on a path to finding joy and misery and fear and hope in the folds of your day."
My therapist told me that I need to forgive myself for having “disordered” strategies, they’re actually a rational response to disordered events.
And once you start looking at these strategies as something your nervous system and brain developed to protect you, instead of flaws, it helps move forward.
This was one of the first Polly columns I read, if not the first, because I typed into the search engine something like "35 wasted life start over," that was a couple years ago, it spurred me on to reading all the Ask Polly columns I could find, and I'm glad that a couple years later I'm feeling much better.
Very similar story for me, too. I keep a PDF of this one, and a few others from both the Substack and The Cut eras, on my hard drive to reference whenever those feelings creep up. Glad I'm not the only person who came into Ask Polly-dom through this one.
Me too, my first and favourite Ask Polly!
Damn. This one still hits like a motherfucker.
I find this reply so sweet and this line gold "You can run your hands along your own self-defeating edges until you get a splinter, and you can pull the splinter out and stare at it and consider it. When you face your shame with an open heart, you’re on a path to art, on a path to finding joy and misery and fear and hope in the folds of your day."
This essay changed my life!
My therapist told me that I need to forgive myself for having “disordered” strategies, they’re actually a rational response to disordered events.
And once you start looking at these strategies as something your nervous system and brain developed to protect you, instead of flaws, it helps move forward.
I hope you feel safe and better soon ❤️