Archive - Ask Polly

‘I Just Need a Mother!’

Instead of feeling ashamed of your loneliness and longing, you need to learn to give yourself exactly what you need.

Dec 16 • Heather Havrilesky

'My Hurt Feelings *Panic* Me!'

It's your punishing, neurotic thoughts, not your feelings, that send you into fight or flight mode. Daring to greet your feelings with enthusiasm will…

Dec 9 • Heather Havrilesky

Does Everything Hurt Your Feelings?

Maybe it's finally time to embrace the source of your strength.

Dec 6 • Heather Havrilesky

'I Made a Huge Mistake and Now He's Gone for Good!'

This humbling has so much to offer you.

Dec 1 • Heather Havrilesky

November 2025

'My Boyfriend Is So Chaotic!'

Stop taking a poll of what your friends think and trust your gut instead.

Nov 24 • Heather Havrilesky

'All I Want is Love and It's Making Me Crazy!'

Abandon your mind's reductive, narrow, repeating stories about love and live inside the ever-changing realm of your body instead.

Nov 17 • Heather Havrilesky

If you can’t be interrupted, you’re missing out.

Nov 10 • Heather Havrilesky

'My Friend Is an Asshole!'

Tolerating disrespect doesn't make you a better person.

Nov 3 • Heather Havrilesky

October 2025

‘Am I Too Romantic About True Love?’

Don't change your entire belief system just because you're afraid of seeming naïve.

Oct 30 • Heather Havrilesky

'How Can I Become a Writer?'

Make writing your top priority, but build a balanced, sustainable life around that dream.

Oct 27 • Heather Havrilesky

'I Have to Quit This Job Or I'll Lose My Mind!'

Life is too short to be miserable.

Oct 23 • Heather Havrilesky

'Am I Doing Enough to Live My Values?'

Stating your principles every day - and tolerating the anxiety this incites in you - will help you to refine your path forward.

Oct 16 • Heather Havrilesky

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